Why Prince William and Kate Were Right to Split

Prince William and Kate Middleton have called it a day. Of course, the media were quite unprepared for it and is in a state of shock. Whom else do they have to train their lens on now? Lean times are certainly ahead. There are also negative comments from disappointed members of the public besotted with the possibility of the proverbial fairy tale-ending. Cutting remarks about him being 'just like his father' and being 'selfish' and 'immature', as though this young man should be living his life just for the benefit of everyone else. William and Kate have done exactly the right thing for them, regardless of which sections of the media, or public soothsayers they have inconvenienced by not staying together till the longed-for coronation. In fact, by their sensible, though sad, action, they have shown that they are quite capable of looking after themself and making the appropriate decisions without too much fanfare. In fact, proving far more mature than some who are behaving otherwise.

For a start, potential partners come into our lives for any of four main reasons: To help us out of a crisis, to teach us something new, to boost our confidence and build us up to face the next stage of our journey, or to be the permanent spouse we seek. The trouble with many single people is that they are so keen to find such a person, they tend to believe every person they meet will be the BIG ONE, the permanent partner. They burden every meeting and relationship with that expectation and are then surprised when it doesn't work out. Instead of allowing the friendship to evolve in its own way, they expect a lot which is then not delivered and rapid disappointment follows.

Secondly, just because William is a Royal prince does not excuse him from the processes of love and from any break-ups that might ensue with any person he takes up with. Having been together for a while, which encouraged people to take them for granted and make assumptions, does not mean they would be permanent either. Nothing is certain when it comes to affairs of the heart, especially with the Royal Family which has already set a very bad precedence in the consistent failure of its relationships. At least this is not another marriage on the rocks. There is room for review and regrouping, if they wish that. Kate Middleton is a remarkable, loyal, warm and discreet individual who seems perfect for the job but any relationship has to be about two people's needs being fulfilled, not just one.


Steady Anchor of Stability
Though the couple might be close in age, by her behaviour it is clear that Kate is far more mature in herself and desires, and perhaps was ready for more stability and permanence, than William was prepared for. Perhaps Kate has been there for reasons 2 and 3, as a steady anchor for William, to teach him new things and to boost his confidence and maturity for the next important stage of his life, rather than be the next queen. Or, it could be that William needs time out to live in his own way, away from her, to actually appreciate her value, and his role, if he is to make the right decisions for his future. No one can do that for him. If he doesn't feel ready for any commitment, maintaining the relationship just for show, in order to please others or because he is Royal, will only lead to the same results that has been had before and much unhappiness all round.

William deserves to have the life he wants until he is ready to settle down, particularly with the demanding role ahead of him. He seems to be a very intelligent and caring person. It is so sad and meanspirited when this young man is being compared to his father every time he does something which does not suit the expectations of others. William is only 24 and needs to develop into his own person without being compared to his father in every action he takes. He needs room to breathe and has a lifetime ahead of him to be like his father! Just now, William wants to be like every other youngster: to have an enjoyable life and to sample its attractions while he is young before he settles into responsibilities.

This break perhaps merely reflects a different stage in the couple's friendship. After having time to themself at college, they probably found the reality of his position and responsibilities in the wider world a difficult period of adjustment, which they probably need time to appreciate and change direction. Kate Middleton might yet be the right woman for William, after a spell away from each other, and meeting other people. But only HE can find that out, in his own time, not well meaning others who like to use their narrow expectations to dictate what they think is best for him.

Why Don Imus Was Right to be Sacked

The CBS popular radio announcer, Don Imus, who enjoys over two million listeners on the radio station WFAN, called the Black members of the Rutgers University team "nappy headed hoes". As usual, he does not believe he is racist and leading Black leaders called for him to be fired. As a Black person, normally I would be against anyone losing their job or livelihood because of a racist remark, no matter how abhorrent. But this case is different for three main reasons.

First, Imus has had thirty years in his job, building up a sizable audience for his morning show; people who, no doubt, look to him for guidance and being a role model. One would have thought that those years in the job would have given him a sensitivity for the feelings of his audience and a respect for the listeners who keep him there. One would also have expected that such long years would have built up an expertise which fosters the kind of responsibility and respect we would expect from such an experienced talk show host.

Yet, his critics say that during his thirty years he has shown a 'pattern of racially charged remarks' which he retorted were either 'misinterpreted' or 'satirical'. Regardless of misinterpretation, or otherwise, they were still racist, yet he did not desist. But racist remarks of any kind have no place in the vocabulary of someone on the public stage who is supposed to be serving a diverse audience. Being in a position of authority, especially with the privilege of being White in a majority White community, carries certain responsibilities as well as rights. We cannot attack people who are weak, or powerless, then say we are not bullies. Just as one cannot continue to use racist language down the years, aimed at vulnerable members of the community, then say one is not racist. It's a contradiction in terms. If we use the language of the bully, we are bullies, and if we use the language of the racist, we are racist. We cannot use the language of hate if we aspire to love. The two are inompatible.


Language Conveys Meaning
Second, the language we use defines who we are. For example, the word 'boredom' does not exist in my vocabulary. I have never used it in my lifetime to describe my feelings because I have too much to do in any one day and cannot find the time to be bored at any point. The word NO does not exist for me either, especially when trying to achieve something, because I believe everything is possible. Someone else who does not believe that will think 'no' first before they look at the possibilities. Moreover, I have never thought of saying anything racist about another person because I value every person and treat them with respect until they show me otherwise. So language is not just something we learn to use for communication or our benefit; not just something we pluck out of the air at random. Language represents who we are, body and soul, and the meanings we wish to convey.

We cannot use negative language and achieve positive aims, neither can we put down others and expect to make friends with them. Language reflects our identity, ethics, beliefs, who we are and aspire to be. We give life to what we believe through language. We would NEVER use words we are not comfortable with unless we are coerced. We also stamp our own style on our use of words so much that when something comes from us which doesn't sound in line with our personalities, not the 'normal' thing we would say, people begin to wonder. Language comes from the heart and the head to reflect exactly who we are and what we value. So when we use negative terms against others, we are actually demonstrating our fears, our insecurities, our low self-esteem, prejudices and, most of all, our feeling of power over them. We have the power to say such remarks, so we do it. Otherwise, why would this man, who has a job many would die for, wish to say something so awful about vulnerable women far away he didn't even know - comparing Black beauty to White beauty which is culturally incomparable.

Finally, his responsibilities. Don Imus has a radio programme which goes out to a diverse community with sponsors from that community. When he disparagingly talks about certain people in such racist ways, what message is he giving to his Black listeners about their worth and value? Most important, how does he expect those listeners to react who thinks him worthy enough for their time in tuning in to his programme? Sometimes, as we get so bloated with our own power, we forget about respect to the people who put us where we are. The word RESPECT has sensitivity at its core. Where was Imus' sensitivity to his diverse audience?

However, the comment which summed up the real effect of Don's offensive remarks came from Senator Barack Obama about his children and went straight to the heart of the issue with its simplicity. "He didn't just cross the line," Obama said in an interview. "He fed into some of the worst stereotypes that my two young daughters are having to deal with today in America. The notions that as young African-American women.....that somehow makes them less beautiful or less important. It was a degrading comment...."

Imus abused the authority placed in him as a public announcer, one who is supposed to be serving ALL members of his public, not just the White section of it. If he decides to make racist fodder out of others, he should know that carries consequences. By showing little sensitivity to his diverse audience and supporters with those awful sexist and racist remarks, he effectively relinquished the authority vested in him to act in an unbiased way and forfeited that respect. It depends on the society we seek if we can actually condone such discriminatory behaviour in the 21st century. The world has moved on a lot with our global interaction, a point that certain old hands are ignoring and resisting until they are foced to acknowledge it. Perhaps for the first time in his life, Don Imus is learning that certain actions have consequences, and free speech actually carries responsibilities for ensuring the rights of everyone.

The Real Value of Barack Obama's Presidential Bid

The first time I heard of this man he was touring Kenya, his ancestral village, and everyone there was gushing about him, treating him like a king returning home. This was late 2006. I had never heard of Barack Obama before, didn't realise he was an American senator, also didn't realise how few African-American senators there were, but was not at all surprised at the hero-worship back there.

Black people do not have too many wholesome heroes to inspire them. Many of the latter day heroes tend to come from the music field and what a dreadful example of drugs, drinks and rock and roll many of them are setting; not to mention the distasteful words in rap music which show little respect to women, and others, for that matter. Even when there is clear genius among us, we have a way of robbing it of its effect (Michael Jackson comes to mind?). I adore that man's music yet feel so disheartened at the way he has changed himself in such a sad way, detracting from the very talent we are trying to appreciate.

Starved of Black role models, many people despair of ever being reflected significantly while clinging to people like Oprah Winfrey and Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Halle Berry for some reflected glory. Minorities everywhere live vicariously through role models because of the absence of homegrown heroes, and Blacks in the UK are no different. In fact, when Colin Powell first became a general, one letter writer to the Voice newspaper noted drily that, "Had General Powell been in Britain he would have been Corporal Powell!"



No Inspiration for Black Teenagers
I have never forgotten that because it struck a chord of relevance and recognition which, 20 years down the line, is still resonating loudly with the invisibility of minorities in public positions of power and responsibility. There just aren't any to inspire the teenagers coming up; to reinforce their presence and value. Many of those in place are 'yes' people, beholden to the political party which put them there, securing their positions while being afraid to rock the boat, without backbones to be individual and to make that real difference, as they are gradually swallowed up by both the Establishment and the 'system' and lose their voice.

You can tell a lot about the government of a country in how they seek to unite the people and be representative of them. If the people associating with Britain's government and monarchy are anything to go by, the is an all-White country! You will not see a Black person of substance or expertise around the them in Britain, unless it is a bodyguard! Yet the Queen is the head of a multicultural Commonwealth and loves to boast about that when she visits them. Obviously charity does not reach as far as our home! This is very disappointing to me because, with Britain's history, and the way it trumpets regularly about justice and fairness, one would have thought it would have led the field in recognising diversity and its own multicultural population in more visible and tangible ways. As a staunch Briton, who love this country, I find that so sad.

That's why America has always had a special place for Black people everywhere because, through the relentless advance of our African-American brothers and sisters in all walks of public life, we too can live vicariously and pretend we have similar opportunities. Our successful African-American brothers and sisters allow us to dream, to imagine, to luxuriate in what is possible. We feel as though we share that success because it looks so easy, and we have so little. However, we have always acknowledged that the supreme position of president was always closed to everyone except White males. Not any more, it isn't. Thanks to one man who dared to dream, we can share that too in believing the sky is truly our limit.


Tremendous Self-Belief
The real value of Barack Obama lies not just in the possibility of him creating history on an unimagined scale. It actually lies in what he represents to Black people everywhere; the fulfilment of the impossible. As Nelson Mandela once echoed in a speech, by his fearless action and tremendous self-belief, Barack gives permission to all of us to dream too in a way which wouldn't be understood by a White person in any number of years, because they take success and status for granted. White role models are limitless, proliferating every minute of every day to become commonplace and taken for granted. When a White person says he'll be a millionaire by the time he is 30, that is almost a fact beyond dispute. There are too many millionaires around to suggest otherwise. When a Black person says it, we wonder from what basis. How are they going to do it with the lack of role models to inspire them and the lack of precedence to motivate them? A superhuman task. It then becomes an uphill struggle as they contend with self-doubt, the scepticism of their peers and the discriminatory practices around them.

However, regardless of whether he gets into the White House or not, the presence of Barack Obama in the American presidential race has already turned a new chapter for every African-American male by showing them their own worth and power. Barack has taken the baton from Colin Powell and is proving to them that the humblest person, without wealth or whiteness, can attain the highest office. And it must begin to do something positive to their thinking and aspirations. I do hope so.

The heartfelt words from this donor, a Navy veteran, which accompanied the $5 he sent to Barrack, says it all. It was his first ever donation and his daughter inspired him to send the money: He said, "Being an African American male, to have that positive role model in Senator Obama, it's given me so much hope. To be able to look at my daughter one day and tell her, 'You can be anything you want in the world' ... In the past I might have said, 'You could be anything you want to be. But president? No' ... But now, he's given me that light. Now, I can tell her, 'You really can be anything you want in the world.'"

Amen to that, sir – and Thank You!

4 Key Reasons Why Barack Obama Will be The Next US President

On 11th February I wrote an appreciative blog on Barack Obama, the new presidential hopeful. Then I was in awe of the 'audacity' of this man from nowhere, much inspired by him and his dreams and I wondered whether his hopeful dash had anything to teach the UK. However, I concluded my blog with these words: "Much as I would like Barack Obama to become the next President, I do not think that he will, on this round. I think he should be Hillary Clinton's running mate and what an unstoppable team they would be - his charisma with her experience, not to mention the differing gender, race and personal ethos which would add extra appeal. He would at least dent her conservatism while gaining the necessary training to succeed after her.

Well, two months down the line, I take it ALL back! In my humble opinion Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States of America for the following reasons:

1. Grassroots Support: Barack is intent on being the People's President in a very clever move to distance himself from the big lobbyists and sectional interests which usually drain White House incumbents of their power. The fewer factions he has to answer to, both White and Black, when he gets into office the more his hands will be freed to carry out the kind of policies he wishes to introduce to change America and unite it, as he is promising. If his hands are not tied with great expectations from those with the power, he can embrace the masses more sincerely with more room for action.

He is quietly involving as many people as he can so that when he actually stands on those White House steps, the ordinary man in the street who donated his $5 can actually beam with pride and say, "I helped to get him there." And that's a powerful sense of inclusion Mrs Clinton hasn't yet realised, or learnt, in our YouTube and blogger age. People want to feel significant and valued and, with his website, of which I am a member, Barack Obama is doing just that, with regular information and encouragement to be part of his circle as well as a pioneer in the dramatic change afoot in America. It would be exciting times for those who have never been involved in the political process or got near a potential president. To know that their effort and involvement can actually make a difference would be a tremendous boost for their feeling of worth and value!

Big business and big money can help to get you into any public office in the USA, but it is the people who will keep you there. By encouraging his supporters to hold meetings in their houses and communicate with one another as much as possible – in essence, to be mini-campaign managers for spreading the word on his behalf to attract even more local attention – he is building a formidable base of public support because nothing succeeds like word of mouth. Soon this 100,000 flock, and the money he is likely to receive, will both dramatically expand as people realise he is now a very serious contender.



Shrewd Move
2. New Style. It is clear that Barack and his team are determined to do things very differently. Notice how they deliberately waited to announce their first quarter figures, well after the hullaballoo of the Clinton camp. They were in no rush to boast. That was a shrewd move because Clinton's aides completely underestimated him, believing that their money was so high as to overwhelm her rivals. But, not for the first time, has Barack snatched the initiative and the media attention in a dignified way, demonstrating that he is his own man, who is determined to do things his way, and a new way, and can take care of himself very well. Notice too that he has refrained from cosying up to people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, though he has praised their role in making it all possible for him with their pioneering days. He is trying not align himself with specific factions in order to encourage a broader appeal. And that can only be good for both the country and his support base.

3. Time For a Big Change. The negative antics of President Bush has ensured that America has lost a lot of its power, credibility and respect, and is now ready for change. Not just a cosmetic one, but a dramatic change. In fact, watch the world's response to America once Barack is installed, at least in the first couple of years as he proves himself. His manner will be far less adversarial because he is a conciliator who speaks from love, not hate, and that is why people find it easy to warm to him. I knew I would see a Black president in my lifetime because the signs were always there. But I never believed one without too much experience and so young would be taking centre stage, which shows his maturity, sincerity and great competence at dealing with what he has to do.

4. Blind Spot. America has had a blind spot ever since Hillary has been campaigning. There was such a foregone conclusion about her ability to fundraise and fit the role of president that they left little room for any alternatives. No one could have predicted Barack Obama's presence and enormous success so far. Like the Google juggernaut, no one saw him coming. Being so preoccupied with all the other old contenders, they left little room for the new. Those who did spot him in the distance were perhaps ready to dismiss his chances because of his relative inexperience. But Google came out of nowhere to dominate the world with their new way of thinking, amazing innovations and fearless way of acting. Barack Obama, whom the rest of the world had barely heard of 6 months ago, seems to have begun his own journey towards global domination.

It is no longer a question of whether he will get into the White House. It is simply a matter of when, and the sooner the better. Anyone who can have such an impact on a huge country in such a short time has tremendous talent for leadership, which his supporters obviously desire. The only place for such a talent to do itself justice is right at the top, in America's historical White House, its main seat of power, from which it can lead and inspire.